Phantoms and Beasts
by my-heart-is-just-as-silent
Summary: Jacob Black's love for Bella never died. Nessie forced it away. And Jake will never be as 'good' as Edward. Will Jacob become a beast? If you read it, PLEASE review, even if it's just to flame. COMPLETE!
1. Memories

**This story alternates between past and present, to emphasize Jacob's confusion. Sorry to all hardcore Jacob fans. Rated T for violence, bloody images, and some sexual references. All reviews will make me do a dance.**

**I do not own Twilight...though with my large share in their merchandise, I certainly should.**

Setting: A few years after Breaking Dawn

Summary: "Jacob Black has become bewildered by time; what happened to cause his life to take this path he's on? His love for Bella never died, merely subdued deep within him, forced to the side by his new connection with Renesmee. Jacob never asked for what he's received. The sadness and confusion inside of Jacob changes him, breaking something in his mind and soul. Haunted by the phantoms of his past, memories that he can't seem to lose, yet won't survive without, Jacob Black begins to lose his very humanity…will he become a beast?"

PHANTOMS AND BEASTS

_To find oneself within the sufferings and emotions existence has wrapped around the human form, sometimes one must release their given body for another, less sensitive state._

_Luckily, Jacob Black possessed that very ability._

_Rushing through the thick forest with unmatchable speed, Jacob reveled in the welcome sensation of rough ground beneath his claws, dirt which he could rake and scar to resemble his own innards. The sky was a distant grey, casting the wood below with an eerie fog, limiting vision. Sight was superfluous to Jacob now. He needed only coarse soil and coarser paws flinging rapidly in their swiftness. Trees whipped at his massive sides. He ignored the branches tearing his fur apart. His heart was the only piece of him he wished to mend. All else was easily endurable._

_The pain in his chest was fierce. 'Take it from me', Jacob pleaded with the wilderness. 'Please, take it away. I can't live without her now.'_

_Bird caws taunted him with their refusal. He threw himself further into the darkening forest, faster, faster, and faster…_

_Hoping to erase his being if not his pain._

---

"Jacob?"

Black strands of hair whip round as Jacob snaps out of his bleak reverie.

It's Renesmee. Of course it's Renesmee. She is his other half, and must know when he's troubled by the phantoms of his past.

"What, honey?" he asks the sweet vision before him. Her perfect oval face is milk-white with sadness, plump pink lips twisted in sympathy. He tugs her into his lap and cradles her in his chest. She murmurs his name and Jacob thinks no previous utterance of those two syllables can ever compare to Renesmee's angelic croon of them.

"Jacob, why are you so miserable? Is it something I did?" The brick wall of his torso muffles her voice, but Jacob can understand her. Always.

"No, sweetheart. Never."

She pauses. Jacob knows it is not in anticipation for his response. He will not reply. Renesmee surely knows as much. Instinctively.

Renesmee touches his broad, russet-skinned face with her tiny palm. Jacob tilts his head back, allowing the images to course through his brain unchecked.

_It was Bella. Yet she was not Jacob's Bella anymore. She was a frozen predator with garnet eyes and careless grace. She stood alone on the beach where they used to spend many hours together. The murky sunset bathed her in luminescent rays. Her strong features were turned to the horizon, gaze searching past the waves and beyond._

_Jacob watched as her stone face twisted. This was the face a human would assume if they were about to cry. _

_Bella was a vampire, though, and such an action was impossible for her._

_Her throat brought forth strange dry sobs. She lifted her lovely white hands and stared at their pearly surface as if she despised them. Her flawless teeth bared in a grimace._

_She began to whisper something between firmly clenched teeth. As Renesmee neared, so too did Jacob. A breeze blew the brunette vampire's long locks wildly and with them came her repeated mantra:_

_"Jacob…Jacob…Jacob! I'm so…"_

The images dissipate into misty nothings.

Renesmee's chocolate eyes do not belong to her as she observes her soul mate in his moment of awakening. The brown orbs, framed with black lashes and turned liquid with tears, are the human Bella's. Bella as she used to be, clumsy, imperfect, and unconfident.

This is why Jacob begins to cry. He covers his face with his large hands and completes Bella's unfinished sentence.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry."

---

_"Jacob, Jacob stop! Jake," Bella gasped with laughter as the tall, black-haired boy tickled her thin sides._

_"Say 'uncle'!" Jacob demanded. "Say it and I'll stop!"_

_"Jake, no…Jacob! Fine, uncle! Uncle, I said!" Her eyes widened as Jacob persisted. "What…you liar…you dirty rotten…filthy liar!"_

_He laughed a great booming laugh as he sat back and watched as she righted herself, clearly affronted._

_"I had to get a few more seconds of squealing in while I could. You understand." He chuckled._

_"No. Surprisingly," she stated, flipping her long hair back over her skull, "I do not understand. Nor, may I add, will I ever."_

_Bella moved as if exiting the Rabbit._

_"Come on, Bells! It was just funny! You're funny, okay?" He begged, instantly repentant._

_"Well…you're funny looking. So there." She settled back in the seat, though, satisfied._

_"I thought you said I was beautiful," Jacob couldn't help but add._

_Bella sighed. Appraising him with a heavy-lidded eye, she muttered, "Well, you shouldn't be."_

_Jacob grinned a blindingly white smile, sliding an arm around her in a hug. She swatted him playfully, but after a minute leaned into his embrace._

_Jacob's easygoing smile vanished. A serious expression replaced it, etching his handsome face into sterner lines._

_Within a few moments, she was asleep. Jacob kissed her smooth forehead, tightening his muscular arm around her slim frame protectively. Even in unconsciousness, her slender arms slowly reached to circle her abdomen._

_Needlessly, yet habitually, Jacob glanced around the dim garage as if waiting for the golden-eyed one he so hated to appear and steal the woman he loved from him._

_"You can stay wherever the hell you are," he growled quietly. "She's mine now." His tone took on a despairing quality, a weak sound which was not characteristic. Unaware that his grip was tightening drastically, Jacob was startled when Bella sleepily murmured, "Ouch, Jake. That hurts."_

_Instantly he loosened his hold. "Sorry, Bells."_

_"S'okay." Bella looked up at him and he gazed back at her. 'Is this the moment?' he thought frantically. Pursuing the chance, Jacob cautiously bent his lips to hers._

_"Jacob," she chided at the last second, shifting her head shyly to the side. He nuzzled her cheek instead, contented. Her small hands covered her chest, squeezing the cotton material of her big jacket, as if in torment._

_"I'll fix you," He promised._

_But Bella had already fallen back into slumber._

_He could only guess who filled her dreams._

---

_It was Edward, alway_s _Edward, with his impossible handsomeness and unparalleled strength. He had won the prize Jacob endeavored to secure so recklessly, risking not only_ _life and limb but also heart._

_Edward- holding her in the cream-colored living room with the wide windows throwing sparkling beams against the both of them._

_Edward- kissing her senseless and whispering sweet words of worship, lifting her swiftly and carrying her to their room in the fairy-tale cottage they dubbed home._

_Edward- staring intently into the amber eyes he had created in that pale perfect face, as if he were an inventor of timeless treasures, setting topaz gemstones into an ivory sculpture, then marveling at it's beauty. Her beauty._

"Jacob."

_Edward- speaking gently to her, discouraging one of her more harebrained ideas, refusing to lash out with the sternness her fragile failing character required, smoothing away her hair, patting her head, squeezing her cheeks, laughter…laughter at Jacob's expense._

"Jacob?"

_Jacob- sitting sullenly in the corner, tossing scathing remarks at Rosalie…before._

_Jacob- bounding brightly toward his life partner, white smile endlessly stretching across the distance…after._

_Jacob- staring down the great marble staircase with inscrutable black eyes, bewildered by time…_

"Take a look at me now!" he says roughly, wrapped up in the illusion.

"Jacob! Renesmee, stop it! Let go of him!"

Relief.

"Everyone's changed." Renesmee whispers to him. "That's life."

Jacob gulps in unforgiving air, chokes, spits out, "But she's dead."

Leaving Bella to gasp as he falls from the couch and his skull meets the polished wood floor below with a disconcerting 'crack.'

---

Carlisle, having appraised the unconscious Jacob's newest wound with a well-used and critical eye, comments to Esme at the doorway, "He'll be fine in a few hours. Wolf healing," he laughs, "it never ceases to amaze me."

"Yes, but what is _wrong_ with him? Jacob's one of our family, Carlisle. He's sick, or depressed, or…" The lovely 'queen-of-the-castle' figure trails off, buttery eyes screwing up in puzzlement.

Carlisle watches her with an unfathomable tawny gaze, sighs, and then slides a pale arm around her. "Darling, Jacob is struggling with the path he has chosen. Rosalie and I were discussing it last week." His gaze shifts to the end of the long hallway.

"He made a choice years ago," says Rosalie, suddenly appearing where her father's eyes have strayed. "And his choice condemned him just as your choices have condemned us all, Carlisle. I thank you for the hard decisions you were forced to make…most days. Others don't exactly fill me with gratitude."

"Rose!" Esme reprimands, a cream-colored hand flying to her ample bosom.

"No, Esme." Carlisle lets loose a tired breath. "You and I both know this is our Rose. She will not change."

"I have made more than enough concessions just since Bella entered our lives. Can you ask more of me?"

Silence falls between those golden-haired members of the Cullen family.

Finally, Carlisle answers needlessly, "Of course not. And you're right, Rose. My choices have altered your lives beyond recognition. Or, rather, ended them neatly." He chuckles without mirth. "However, I'd still like to think it was worth it. That there is more for us in this world or the next."

"I'm not Edward, father." Rosalie stares at the young doctor for an interminable amount of time. Then, with a blink of the eye, is gone.

"She is bitter."

"As is Jacob. Esme, I think we must be missing something. There is something hidden in Jacob we can't find. And maybe we shouldn't try. From what Edward has gathered, inside Jacob exists two selves: past Jacob and present Jacob. Perhaps he's warring with himself, with what has occurred, with everything _changed_. I think…I think…" He holds up his hands helplessly, shrugs, and then looks to his wife for guidance.

She smiles, murmurs softly, "Oh, Carlisle, you think too much."

He kisses her icy elven nose. "That, my dear, is precisely why you love me."

---

Alice quickly carries a massive silver bag over the threshold until Bella's tired sigh reaches her from the second floor, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"Now, Bella, it's almost your birthday. I had to get you a present! I think you'll love it, anyway, so get down here and stop sulking," she says.

When no pale perfect figure appears at the top of the stairs, the pixie-like vampire throws the bag onto the ground, harrumphs loudly, and folds her skinny arms.

"Don't pitch a fit, Alice, it's unbecoming." Esme calls from the kitchen, where she's fixing a hearty meal for the impatient child floating around in the gardens.

"Mother, tell Bella to come see her gift! I mean, really, I didn't even demand to have a party this year."

"That," Bella remarks icily as she glides down the long luxurious marble staircase, hands on hips, "is because you knew I'd make good on my threat to rip your throat out."

"Oh Bella. Jasper would just sew it back on. Or in, rather. Now look…" she hurriedly picks up the garment bag, unzips it, and then whips out a luscious sexy see-through dress.

Bella critiques the near-transparent material with a click of her tongue. "I don't know if purple is really my color."

"Look, as your sister I must beg you to toss out all your creams and ivories. The blacks and browns must leave this house as well. It's time for crimsons and golds and yes, even purples."

When Bella doesn't answer, Alice slyly comments, "Edward will love it. In fact, I'm certain he'll go crazy."

Bella pauses. "You've seen it? He'll go crazy?"

"Without a doubt."

Bella fingers the fabric with another expression on her angular face altogether.

"I suppose I could try it on."

---

_He's running, running, running. Unable to stop. Ground, impact of paws, air. Repeat. Lightning fast, he streaks through the woods. It's instinct which drives him. There is nothing chasing him. Yet he is filled by tense panic. He is the ground, he is the impact, and he is the air. He is urged on by the animal memory of something frightening. He has relinquished the fight. He has run from the battle for a soul infinitely more precious to him than his own, now turned feral. He is forsaken, and the one he vowed to fight for is lost to him. Consequently, he too is lost. Primal sensations keep him pushing blindly through the forest. He gives himself completely over to the feeling. He roars as he runs, emotion ripping inhumanly from his throat. Soon, he will forget what he has lost. He is, after all, a beast._

---

"What's that he's muttering?" asks Emmett as he and Jasper observe the sleeping form of the Indian-skinned boy.

"I think it's 'lost'.

"No, listen."

They both turn to statues.

"Beast…beast…beast…beast."

The vampires exchange a surprised glance.

"I wonder what he's dreaming about."

"We can only guess, I suppose. Do you think we should get Carlisle? He's turning a funny color."

Indeed, the skin stretched taut and crimson over Jacob's bones had lightened marginally. His hand clenches.

"I think he's sick. Carlisle's at the hospital. Call him, just in case," Jasper orders.

Emmett smoothes his shaven head. "This is a great time for Edward to be gone."


	2. The Change

Renesmee twists about beside Jasper on the long soft couch. His shocked expression, the dramatic lines in his normally composed face seems exaggerated and amuses the ten-year old to no end.

"Okay, Jasper. My turn…" she screws up her cocoa eyes in preparation. Then, Renesmee pulls her ears and blows air out her rosy cheeks, cross-eyed.

Jasper smiles minutely, leaving Renesmee to scream with mirth at the mere thought of her own appearance.

"Jasper, I'd say you win this round. Renesmee, let's get ready for bed."

Renesmee dances into her mother's arms, saying, "May I finish Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde tonight? Please?"

Bella pretends to think. "I don't know…it _could_ give you nightmares."

Even Jasper snorts at that, providing the leverage Renesmee needs. "Jasper! I win!"

The leonine uncle leans back and settles into the cushions comfortably. "Sure Nessie."

Bella and her small slight silly daughter begin up the marble steps.

But Carlisle's wary face is suddenly right before them, halting their pace.

"Carlisle? Is everything…?"

Carlisle forces a grin to his stone lips. "Jacob's awake."

---

After flying fast to his room, Nessie launches herself across the threshold, cheering "Jacob!"

He's bent awkwardly, cramped, and angular. The threads of black silk issuing forth from his skull fall over his red-skinned face. His large hands are loose in his lap.

"Jake?" Renesmee tentatively asks. "Are you better now?"

Jacob doesn't answer for a few moments. Then, just when Nessie's sure she must have the truth of the matter (that Jacob is certainly far from fine) he lifts his head slowly and eerily replies, "I've _become, _I think."

Renesmee touches her own pink mouth in confused but selfless thought.

The arrival of Bella, however, alters the mood drastically. Jacob smoothes the mass of hairs back with his palm and stretches his veined neck till it cracks. Jacob is obviously comfortable in her presence. _Leeringly _comfortable. He steadily removes the bandages from his forehead. His smile is evident…yet strange.

Nessie, however, backs away in fear, brown eyes widening as some dark notion strikes her.

"Jake? How are you feeling?" the slender brunette inquires caringly preoccupied more with her friend's welfare then Renesmee's.

Jasper enters, adds, "You've been sleeping upwards of seven hours."

Jacob pauses before responding. He says quietly, in a manner reminiscent of Jasper's own antisocial nature, "Things are a bit clearer now." His gaze never leaves the female vampire's white countenance.

"…Right. Well, I'm glad. You scared us a little. Big Jacob's never hurt." Bella grins.

Jasper, staring intently at the werewolf, seems unsettled. He wants to do some unsettling, apparently. He whispers, "Never vulnerable."

A snarl starts inside Jacob's chest, quiets, and vanishes entirely. Jacob's ebony brows raise cryptically, as if all at once denying Jasper's claim and innocently denying the angry growl ever occurred.

The startling noise known as thunder echoes around the house, encasing it with the multi-layered spectrum of sound heard by the majority of its occupants.

Bella glances out the clear pane of glass on the far wall. "Looks like a storm. Think it'll be a bad one?"

Renesmee, previously silent, murmurs ominously, "It will be bad. I think it might stay."

The wind picks up, howls. It's almost like ghosts screaming.

---

_Tearing, shredding, Jacob removed skin from bone and bones from body. This was living, this was pain. Savoring the meat, blood, and sinew for sustenance. His muzzle was bathed in red. Sharp teeth snapped in the feeding frenzy. _

_Another brother approached. '_Share?_' they asked. Jacob's only answer came in the rage of his hungry snarl. _

Jacob is startled out of his gory reverie by a sudden discomfort in his mouth. Pausing, stirring as if from sleep, Jacob blinks. His large hands are stained with bloody chunks of raw steak straight from the package. The torn plastic lies on the surface of the uncharacteristically messy kitchen counter. He reaches inside his pained mouth. He's somehow cracked a tooth in the back. The culprit resurfaces on his coppery tongue. It is a thick sliver of t-bone. Spitting out his own blood, Jacob backs away.

Then, a fierce headache steals over him. His cranium is inflamed, splitting open, halving itself…

Black eyes dilating, Jacob resumes his feast.

---

"How's the weather? Sunless, hopefully." Bella laughs as her husband replies on the other end of the small silver cell phone. "Good, good. And how are things going? Uh-huh. Don't worry, darling, you'll figure it out soon." Bella grows quiet. "I miss you. So much. Hurry home to me." She giggles. "Edward, be nice! I love you, too. Bye."

The raven-haired man rolls over on the long couch, a sneaky snide sly expression over his angular features. "Talking to King Edward? Of course you are. Planning some other great sexual escapade? The walls in your cottage collapsing that one night seemed pretty curious."

Shocked, Bella spun around. She observes her friend for a moment. Then, smiling shyly, she says, "So you caught on to that, huh? You're smarter than I gave you credit for, Jake."

Sitting beside him in a jovial joking manner, Bella tosses her brownish hair over one exposed shoulder and bares teeth. "What do _you_ do on your nights off?" she asks him suggestively.

Jacob's black eyes narrow, Bella's shapely brows raise, and a split-second later a loud slap sends the female vampire sprawling from the couch and onto the floor. A hurt cry accompanies the sudden action.

"Don't _ever _speak to me like that." Jacob looms over the thin trembling terrified figure.

Bella's golden eyes appraise Jacob like one would normally gaze at an apparition.

"Who are you?" she whimpers pleadingly, touching her own stone face.

Jacob turns and leaves the room.


	3. Connection

He sits, starts to cry. The beast has left him. What is wrong with him? He runs into the next room where she stands stunned.

"Bella, I'm-"

The veins on his forehead begin to thump, come to the surface like a swimmer surfacing for air. He pants, clutches the back of his skull where a crippling pain has shuddered into existence. It conquers his senses. He's left with a single image in his flaming, altered brain: a young girl, with bronze curls and warm brown eyes. The mental picture contrasts with the actual vision before him. Why are this woman's eyes golden? They should be…

_Connected, chained. Each conflicting aspects of the same occurrence. His imprinting broke bonds as well as ancient rules of two species. _

_But he was human._

_And in a way, so was Renesmee. _

_Yet Bella was…Bella was…_

_She was fast, and powerful. She was unstoppable. She was beautiful. _

_She belonged to another, and Jacob could never have her._

_Renesmee was swift, and strong. She was undeniable. She was lovely. _

_She was his soul mate, yet he did not burn for her like he did for Bella. The sensation she gave him was paired eternally with grief, shame, and regret. It was easily ignorable. But he liked to grieve, he wallowed in shame, he sank into regret. _

_He had turned himself inside out._

"Look at my scars. Look at what you've done to me! What I've done to myself. Look at what time has accomplished. A happy little family and the stupid kicked dog in the corner."

_He had accepted defeat. He had relinquished his hold on what was always most precious to him. _

"I loved you!" he shouts. "I wanted to make you happy. Why wouldn't you let me take care of you?"

_There was never an option in her mind, he knew. It was Edward. Edward, Edward, Edward. She was so blind. She needed to be taught a lesson. _

_"If you do something bad to someone," Billy had told him when he was younger, "Expect them to seek retribution. Revenge can come in many forms."_

He pushes her down. It is far more difficult than it should be. She stumbles, makes a tiny sound of surprise and fear. The beast inside of him awakens fully, ravenous for more than blood.

The beast wants body. He'd saved her skin more than once. Shouldn't she pay him back?

He is not Jacob in this long moment. He is the monster his rival had always claimed to be.

He'd show him what a monster _really_ was.

Her skin is hard and cold. It does not give, though he strains it. His thumbs press with harsh force into her shoulders.

"Jacob."

Her voice is far away. He does not look at her face.

Her clothes tear. She struggles and he growls with impatience.

The phone rings. He doesn't care. He's in a more primal world, filled with carnal lusts that are forever satisfied.

Her long dark hair fills his hands. Her navel entrances him.

His need is pain.

_"Kiss me Jacob. Kiss me and then come back."_

He tenses. Memories assault him and his black deed attempt.

_"I want to stay here and make you happy and I can't and it's killing me."_

He groans. His head is being ripped in two.

_"I love you…you'll always be my best man."_

His humanity is held forfeit, though, and it tries vainly to break free. He twists, falls off of the traumatized beauty and rolls around on the polished wood floor.

"Jacob!" she cries.

And for now, at least, that is who he is.

---

"I know you're worried. But you're overreacting. I mean it. You can't always trust your feelings." Bella giggles nervously. "Oh, Alice is calling me. I've got to go. But, Edward," she pauses solemnly and whispers, "I love you." She cancels the call and sighs heavily, rubbing her forearm with anxiety.

"I can't stand lying to him." She despairs, looking toward her tiny sister-in-law with large amber eyes.

Alice stares back, a crease in her slender brows. "I can't see anything. Isn't that strange? I don't know what's going to happen to Jacob. And I know you asked to me to search for Renesmee, but honestly, Bella, I'm blind as a bat here. No pun intended." She smiles grimly. "I won't tell Jasper what he did to you, but Jazz is too good with emotions to remain _totally_ ignorant. What am I allowed to say?"

Bella collapses on the bed she and Edward share in their fairy-tale cottage. "I don't know, Alice. I'm so hurt, and confused. What is happening to him? I love Jake so much. I always have. But he's sick and I don't know how to help him."

"Bella, he hit you. He said awful horrible things. And he tried to rape you. There's no getting around that fact. If Edward finds out, he'll kill him. I have half a mind to do it myself."

Bella rolls onto her side, stroking the white gossamer surface of the bed's canopy.

"Alice," she says quietly. "Do you think there's a chance that Jacob never…got over me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what if he still has some sort of a…romantic inclination toward me?"

Alice snorts in a very unladylike manner. "Bella, Jacob is crazy in love with Nessie. He imprinted on her, remember?"

"Yes, that's just it!" She yanks the canopy down and wraps up in it, as if she is cold. "How would you feel if you were forced to love someone other than Jasper? If some…supernatural force caused you to break every promise you ever made him? Wouldn't you hate it?" She sits shaking, every fiber of her being stretched taut.

Alice gazes down intensely at the downtrodden young vampire. "Yes," she says after a minute. "Yes, I would."

"Then is it so far-fetched to believe that maybe his inner feelings are, I don't know…manifesting themselves into an angrier, violent version of himself?"

Alice sits beside her sister and reaches for her small white hand. "Bella, you think that his broken bond with you is turning him into…Mr. Hyde?" she asks, referring ironically to the novel Bella had finished reading her daughter just the other night.

Bella places her head delicately into Alice's lap. "I'm not sure, Alice. But if I know anyone in this world, I know my Jacob."

The spiky black-haired vampire pulls her hand back slowly. "Bella, he's Renesmee's Jacob now."


	4. Reflections

The hybrid evidence of Bella and Edward's union lies curled up with a bowl of human food: popcorn, plain. Salt only makes her crave blood, and that would defeat the purpose entirely. She watches as Rosalie brushes her long blonde hair. She is so envious of the way it shimmers in the light, the thickness and fullness of it.

"Oh, Rose," she says. "You're so lucky. My hair doesn't cooperate as well as yours does. Yours is womanly. I have little girl curls. You're so gorgeous."

Rosalie turns, set her silver brush down on the vanity stand and outstretches her graceful palm. "Come here, Nessie."

Ness allows herself to be pulled easily into her aunt's lap, placing the bowl on her chair as she does so. She tilts her head back and forth, observing her reflection. Rose's heart-stopping face hovers above her head.

"You're the lucky one, Renesmee. Your cheeks are filled with blood. Pulsing, racing blood. It gives you your pretty blush. And it signifies that you are very human. Your heartbeat," Rose continues, hugging her niece close, "makes you far more beautiful than me." Nessie giggles as Rose tightens her grip, tickling her stomach.

"Never forget that who you are is what will draw others to you. It's not all about looks. But trust me- when you grow older, the boys will be hunting you relentlessly. Or is it Jacob you're worried about impressing?"

Renesmee grows still. She suddenly despises the mirror.

"What's wrong?"

Nessie inhales, breathes out through her small button-like nose, and rotates away from the unforgiving glass. "Jacob is…different. He's not my Jacob any longer. But I understand. He can't help it. And I love him. So I have to let him be."

Rosalie, taken aback, releases Renesmee and looks at her with a serious expression on her magnificent marble countenance. "What do you mean, Ness? What can't he help?"

Renesmee moves as if to exit the blonde vampire's bedroom. Then, slowly, she shifts to stare directly into Rose's bemused buttery eyes, careful to avoid her own reflection.

"'I know my Jacob'" she quotes. "They don't know I heard. But I think I understand now. I ruined Jacob's life."

With a small smile she departs, her footsteps inaudible, her smooth white face a perfect mask of martyrdom.

---

He awakes in a bed smelling simultaneously of friend and foe.

It rushes back to him quickly.

Her screams, pleas, once ignored and unanswered, provoke a flood of furious tears. She had lain there, almost bare and abused. She was Bella then. But he was not himself.

Throwing the sheets off, Jake leaps from the window. He lands with a 'thud' and runs, scraping dirt as his feet and hands become paws with knife-like claws.

He slowly gains substance, surrendering a ghostly in-between figure, losing the space where a soul should be, his heart overflowing with feeling, straining his chest. He possesses a sterner form, a brain crammed with hate, a pumping, emotionless organ that does not give him such agony.

He roars in pain.

The pack mind stretches out effortlessly to include him. They witness his ghastly transformation.

This would mean turmoil. This would incite feuds.

If the other vampires did not know by now they soon would. And then they would attack. The tough one, Emmett, and the smart one, Jasper. Quick-tempered Rosalie and tender Alice. The soft-spoken Esme, and her kind Doctor.

Edward, positively reeking of goodness and reason.

He can not hope to defeat them. Nor does he want to. They are almost like…like family.

"_My son,"_ Edward had called him. And in that sweet, mellifluous moment where space and time did not have meaning, he could clearly acknowledge that he was bonded with Edward, too.

But no, they do not have names. They are creatures and he is a monster, and monsters always win.

_"Jake, Jake, Jake,"_ his brothers chant.

But he does not answer to common human names any longer. He is uncaring, and he is fierce. He is raw, evil…and forsaken.

---

_As he slept soundly, she watched him. His normally narrowed black brows were at ease, lashes lowered over closed inky eyes. His earthy, red skin was free of tension. The Volturi's arrival loomed closer with each passing day, and it was a rare moment when her beloved could simply rest._

_"Beloved." She whispered the word, wrapping her heart-shaped lips around it, trying it out. Already, she could feel the word's meaning echoing true. _

_He was so dear to her. He was hers, and she was his. Her father did not like it. But she knew that if she closed her eyes and chose the one who made her heart sing it would be Jake._

_Edward- tall, golden, and wonderful. He was her protector._

_Once, she had managed to get her hands on a forgotten copy of the Bible in Carlisle's room. She had immersed herself in it while her family prepared for the upcoming confrontation with their many new allies._

_She was intrigued with the entity called 'God'. In her mind, Edward was her God, her Heavenly Father. He was everything good and pure in the world. _

_She knew her mother felt the same. The worshipping manner she exhibited around him was constant. _

_Bella- loving, intuitive, and excellent. She was Renesmee's earliest memory, and the sound of her chiming voice never ceased to thrill her._

_Nessie found comparisons with her life and the ageless works of literature she often read. Her mother was so important and vital. She tried to think of a character that was remotely parallel to her._

_Bella was nothing like Shakespeare's Juliet. Juliet was silly and foolish. She was not like Cathy, cruel and selfish. Bella was nearly incomparable. _

_The closest Nessie could come to a similar character was Melanie, of __Gone with the Wind__. That novel intrigued Ness; the gallantry of the soldiers reminded her of her relatives._

_Melly was kind, and loved her child fiercely. She was brave. Bella would have killed that Yankee, too._

"_Whatever a Yankee is," she muttered aloud, cutting into her mental musing. _

_Jake stirred, lifted his face to the ceiling and sighed in his slumber._

"_Renesmee," he murmured._

_Jacob- constant, all-consuming, outrageous. He was her soul mate, before she knew what a soul mate was. He understood her. He completed her, before she needed completion. His blinding smile sent meteors of joy across her sky. He was the star by which she traveled. He was her prince. And she was his princess._

_Forever…_

_If they had that long._

---

The Volturi's threat had passed.

But their forever, however, is tainted now, poisoned by time. They may live for many years, but unhappiness is inevitable, progressing more with each passing, altering hour.

Renesmee, sitting on the wide mansion porch, pauses in her reflections of the past and listens to the wolf howl in the deep, dark forest.


	5. Words

"Try to act normal, please. It's been just us girls since the…incident. The boys can't know anything."

"What about Esme? She went hunting with them."

Bella glowers at Alice and retorts, "You get the gist. Please, Alice, I can't tell anyone but you for now."

Alice sinks luxuriously into the new black silk bedspread Bella had bought her as a hush-up bribe. "I do appreciate the gift, so I'll keep my lips shut. Figuratively, of course. Once Jasper sets eyes on this, there'll be no stopping him." She grins, bearing sharp white teeth. "Trust me. I know."

"Oh, jeez, can't you keep that to yourself? One more innuendo and you'll be sorry." Bella teases.

She catches herself, though, recalling with the startling clarity of a vampire the frightening behavior Jacob had shown lately. After hearing his agonized howls in the distance mere hours previously, Bella knows intuitively the worst is yet to come. She is surprised any emotion other than sadness and fear can occur. She supposes it's a natural reaction to the bizarre events, as well as the nervousness concerning the rest of the family's return.

"I still can't believe all this is happening."

"I can't believe we kept it from Rose and Ness. Especially Ness. You know how she is." Alice clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "I've seen her growing apart from Jacob. Probably for the best at this point. Still, it's odd. It's almost as if she's not committing to anything completely so that I _don't _see it." She sighs. "I'm just being paranoid, I guess."

Bella says, "When should they get back?"

"Approximately one minute, forty-six seconds."

Soon, they can hear them in the woods, making their fast descent down the slope to the waterfront mansion.

The door opens. "We're home," Carlisle calls.

Bella and Alice descend down the stairs, the picture of innocence.

"Hey, how was it? Bag any grizzlies, Emmett?" Alice jokes, embracing Jasper lightly while Bella greets the rest of the Cullens.

"Yep, sure did. I'm so full I swear I'm sloshing."

The family laughs. Thankfully, no one picks up on the frantic tenor of Bella's chortle. Alice shoots her a meaningful glance, which, thankfully, is also missed.

"Where's Jacob? Should I start cooking?" Esme asks, moving to the picturesque kitchen.

"Uh, no. He's at Billy's. Rose took Ness to our cottage to get some clothes for tomorrow. You just missed them." Bella half-smiles.

"She outgrew her clothes again? That's the second time this month," Jasper comments, holding Alice's hand.

"At least it's slowing down." Alice points out. Then she tugs him up the stairs. He follows reluctantly, warily. "Where are we going?" he inquires.

Alice eyes him like he's her prey. "Bella was kind enough to purchase some new silk sheets. They need to be broken in, I believe."

Jasper brightens, switches positions, and yanks her along at super-human, vampire speed. He needlessly shouts from the upper floor, "Thanks, Bella!"

The group chuckles and disperses.

Bella sinks onto the cream-colored sofa and internally wipes away the impossible, symbolic beads of sweat from her ivory forehead.

"Emmett and I have been arguing a topic for some time now. Would you care to give us your opinion, Bella?" Carlisle asks.

"Oh, that's easy- I agree with Carlisle," Bella kids, controlling her grin expertly.

Emmett throws his muscular arms up in the air, a light sparkle resonating on his pale skin; he's sitting close to the wide window, and it's a mildly sunny day. "Why does everyone say that?"

Bella laughs. "Come on, Em. I didn't mean it. What's the issue, Carlisle?"

Carlisle moves closer to his bulky son and places a casual comforting condoling arm on his large shoulder. His skin gleams, and Bella, as always, is distracted. She shakes herself.

"We were debating the pros and cons of using our freedom of speech. I feel that it's entirely necessary. What was the point of the Revolution? America overcame oppression, didn't it?" Carlisle demands. "We spoke our minds."

"Carlisle, you were in England when the Revolution happened!" his glinting wife chides, standing before him with an incredulous expression on her round face.

"I'm an American, aren't I? I claim all of our rights. And we must exercise those rights before it's not an option any longer."

"And _I _think," Emmett interjects, "that why should we worry about _words_? Bella, we can do whatever we choose to do because we're richer and stronger than anybody else! Nothing else matters! Words are just words, after all."

"You know Emmett, Edward wrote a paper on the subject last year in Dartmouth. He said that it was the most important freedom we have. Also that without words, written or spoken, so many vital things would be lost to us forever," Bella informs him.

His face drops. "Like what?"

"Well, all of our histories, for one. We wouldn't even _remember _the British overthrow."

"Not true!" Emmett exclaims. "That's what the vampires are for! Besides," he adds, as the chuckling slowly subsides, "Edward's a sap anyway. Ridiculous." He dares her with his yellow eyes to jump up from the couch and throttle him.

Coolly, Bella kicks back, folding her thin arms over her chest and settling leisurely into the sofa. "I'm sorry, did you say something? Your noxious, ignorant ego must be clouding my mind."

The family laughs. Carlisle prods, "What's your take on the matter?"

Bella smiles sadly. "Word are never just words. They breathe with meaning. Words can…describe how flowers bloom violet in a meadow. And how the silver mist swirls in the woods. And the exact shade of a person's eyes, the way the light hits them. And the scent of blood…how it tastes rushing down your throat."

Every vampire's nostrils flare…except, of course, for Carlisle.

Bella bares teeth in a pathetic attempt of a smile, covering her own bleak emotions regarding the runaway werewolf.

"You should never go against Carlisle, Em," she continued. "You'll always be sorry."

"Yes, you will!" Alice shouts down from her bedroom.

---

Later, much later, Bella watches Renesmee dream, the young girl's tiny palm pressed unknowingly against her mother's cheek.

She soon wishes she had never invaded her child's consciousness. The repetition of words, once casual, will surely haunt her.

_"Jacob!" _the dream-Bella cried._ "Stop! You don't realize what you're doing!"_

_Jake, with bloodshot eyes and curled fists, glared so intensely Bella could almost sense her skin burning. He spat, "No. For the first time in a long while I do know what I'm doing." _

_He softened suddenly and the fevered look faded from his eyes. He clapped a russet hand to his temple, wincing. "Don't you understand? If I kill her now, we can be together. These wasted years will mean nothing. It can just be you and me again, and this time you'll let me love you. You'll be sorry, eventually, If I don't."_

_Bella, horrified, shook her head in denial. "You're not well. Let me help you." She stepped forward cautiously. "Just give me back my daughter."_

_And as he shifted, there lay Nessie._

_She was bleeding, yet she was expressionless. There was no pain or fear on her perfect features. She seemed calm, chocolate brown eyes serene._

_Waiting for an absolution. _

_Or perhaps she was already resigned to her fate._

_The clattering sounds of the cavalry echoed across the backyard._

_There were two different kinds of snarling; each was as ferocious as the other._

_Jacob tensed and groaned as a ripple of pain shot through him. _

_He shook his black mane and growled, preparing to change…_


	6. Deception

Bella ignores the ringing silver phone with a twisted expression on her perfect, angular features. Renesmee watches her quietly. She knows that Bella is overwrought with the sudden changes in her best friend. Nessie's despair, in comparison, almost falls short.

Bella slides down the wall of her mansion bedroom; though Bella and her husband much prefer the cottage and it's reminder of Isle Esme, this particular room provides memories as well…

She sighs as the phone ceases its constant buzzing, and Nessie gazes at her with pondering brown eyes. "Mommy?" she asks, reverting back to the cute term she uses only rarely.

The brunette beauty turns her startling eyes on her; they are very nearly black with thirst. She hasn't hunted for weeks.

"Yeah, baby?" Bella replies wearily, an alabaster hand running through her long tousled mane.

"Why are you ignoring Daddy?"

Bella's lips form the rough approximation of a smile. "Edward doesn't need to know what's going on here. He's trying to find something. Answers. And these days," she laments, "answers are hard to come by." She chuckles then her lovely face stills in somberness.

"I hate secrets. And he does, too. But this is a necessary evil. I can't possibly bring him away from what he's doing. It's so important to this family. He'll forgive me. He always does." She shivers with what could be cold but, of course, is not. It is trepidation for the unknown.

Nessie tilts her head as she does often. She can see the world better that way, topside, upturned. "Well, at least we both know one thing," she giggles. Bella looks at her incredulously; Nessie, always tuned in perfectly to emotions, is acting very strangely considering the awful situation.

Ness grins. "Alice hates secrets much more than either you _or_ Edward."

"Yes, I do!" Alice calls from the next room. "That's why you must always tell me _everything_!"

Bella and her daughter share a single moment of levity, leaning over with laughter. "Would you stop doing that?" Bella responds through her mirth, feigning anger. Her expression is much lighter than seconds before.

Life, it seems, goes on.

But Nessie pulls back slowly, careful not to touch her mother. There is a certain gleam in her milky brown eyes, a curve to her eyebrows and a slant to her mouth that suggests deceit.

Indeed, as her mother banters with Nessie's aunt, Nessie herself is contemplating the repercussions of her decision…She can clearly envision the results.

_Jacob- smiling happily and tightening his warm grip around an overjoyed Bella._

_Jacob- altered, freed of his phantoms and the chains which had bound him._

_Jacob- continuing his life without burden or woe…_

She would never see his relief as she liberated him. Her eyes, then, would be closed.

Alice is suddenly framed in the doorway, her appearance haggard with disbelief. Her thin coal-black brows are pulled together, her teeth bared.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Bella demands, standing swiftly and reaching for Renesmee. Nessie, however, does not fall into her arms.

Alice stares down at her niece, shocked and terrified, unable to speak.

Nessie looks up at her with a sweet, innocent smile on her porcelain face.

Just then a pack of wolves roar in the distance, and the silver phone begins to ring once more.

---

He races the wind.

His massive, powerful body strains forward, ever faster, postponing the inevitable burn which will slow his progress and limit his limbs. He's already shaking with effort.

But if he reaches further down to the many layers of hurt and suffering within him, and yanks up the harsh memories one by one, the rage and desperation will surely give him the edge he needs to go on.

_"Please, Bella. I'm begging."_

_"Jake, I have to-"_

_"You don't though. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay here alive. For Charlie. For me."_

_"Don't die, Bella. Don't go. Don't."_

_But she left anyway…_

He pushes faster, ignoring the first twinge of rejection that ever occurred. There is more to come. He fortifies his mental state in preparation for the onslaught.

_"I love _him_. Not because he's beautiful or because he's rich! I'd much rather he weren't either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit-because he'd still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I've ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?"_

_She pushed the knife in deeper, crippling him._

_"It's impossible to understand."_

_But really, he knew in his then unchanged heart that it was easy to comprehend. Who wanted a rough stone as opposed to a gleaming diamond? Second-best…_

Panting now uncontrollably, he pumps his legs faster, feeling the uncomfortable sensation in all his tendons, working laboriously.

There is no reason in him. He has no destination; it's as if he is repeating himself. When he ran away the first time, the worst time, he desired only to outrun himself. This is exactly the same.

It hadn't worked before.

He can only strive harder.

_He listened to their intimate conversation with growing agony. _

_This was the woman he loved discussing her 'best nights' with his biggest enemy._

_"Tell me one of yours now. Did I guess your first place?"_

_"No- that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."_

_He stopped breathing. What? No, this was a nightmare. This couldn't be real. He worked furiously to restart the blood in his veins, catching up with their tender exchange._

_"I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever."_

_"In a hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you."_

_"I'll remind you to explain- in a hundred years."_

_His heart tore in half…_

Jacob slows, dragging. His muscles give out and he collapses. He wants to cry but he cannot. He is just as impaired as a vampire in this state.

He had built Edward up in his mind as his rival- but he is more than that. Edward is a golden god to which Jacob's life revolves around. After all, Edward and Bella are almost a single entity. And he has no place with them.

He's fooling himself. His happy ending has passed by, waved, and blended neatly into the horizon.

He is forever slipping, catching up, tripping, racing ahead. He can never find solid ground. Never a place to just _rest_. To escape the self-deception and disappointment.

Jacob looks up at the sky. The rain will fall soon. He can smell the change in the weather rattling though the trees.

The sky is unreachable, but in this moment he wants to simply dissolve and float away into the atmosphere…away from the pain that slows his every step. He imagines that in the sky, somewhere far above, he is just Jacob.

And there will be no more pretense. The duplicity can finally terminate.

And she will be with him there.

---

Later, a small cloaked figure moves steadily through the new rain.

Renesmee, slight but brave, goes on to find the changed Jacob. She will release him from his bonds. Or rather, fix the connection her birth had severed.

Her family, distracted, had believed her when she murmured hushedly she wanted to venture out into the shower for some air.

Hopefully the downpour will wash away her scent...as well as any trace of lies she may have left behind to hurt them.

She wouldn't hurt anyone again.

Her only regret is that her father had never returned to hold her one more time.


	7. Shape

_As the snowflakes drifted lazily about their heads, Renesmee and Jacob sat beneath an overhang of stone and frozen soil in the mountains. She sat snuggled up close to his chest to keep warm. _

_Nessie's palm was pressed lovingly into the smooth surface of the Alpha's cheek. His onyx eyes were closed and his head was leaned back, allowing the images she showed him to rush unchecked through his mind. A small smile played about his sensuous lips._

_She observed her soul mate's peaceful countenance with interest. Emotions constantly intrigued her. She sometimes thought of Jasper, and how lucky he was to deal exclusively with feelings. She wished she had that ability. Nessie knew she would give Jacob as much joy as she could, and would stay near him often to erase the pain from his brow as some remembered phantom left the past and invaded their present, troubling him._

_Now, though, Renesmee knew that she could give him that in their silent moment in the snow, using memories as a gift instead of a weapon._

_Rustling sounds disturbed the still; Jake opened his eyes, and Ness removed her hand. They knew it was her parents, but habit forced them alert._

_Bella and Edward appeared just above the snow bank before them, sliding down the white powder and grinning at each other, love struck, even after all this time. Jacob snorted, leaning back again, bored. But Ness kept her wide brown eyes trained upon the vampire pair._

_They were beautiful; shapely brows stark against their white skin, easily comparable to the snow they played in. Their full lips were red as the blood they had just enjoyed. Their teeth gleamed with delight. Their brilliant tawny eyes stood out in sharp relief against their pallor, like gems in marble. They were gentle gothic versions of models on the cover of a fashion magazine, dressed in Alice's latest expensive buys. Bella's long dark tresses swirled about her, giving her a mysterious air. Edward's disheveled bronze hair shone in the pearly dim, saturated with snow. They were breathtaking; it was almost too difficult to hide that they were inhuman._

_Renesmee sank further into Jacob's lap. His capable arms encased her, and bands of heat warmed her skin where they touched it._

_Would they one day be like her parents? He was, after all, as handsome to her as Edward. He was rugged and not as refined, but he was magnificent. _

_Her family constantly crooned that she was simply exquisite. Humans, also, seemed stunned at her appearance. _

_However, she was not fully vampire. It was hard for her to accept that she could ever attain the grace and gorgeousness her family so easily carried. _

_Renesmee was delicate, certainly. But strikingly attractive? She wasn't sure._

_She watched Bella and Edward position themselves against an aging evergreen, coming together for a kiss. Their bodies formed an affectionate shape, like eternal swan lovers bent together, almost a valentine's heart…_

_It was a shape that Nessie hoped to duplicate with _her _Edward…eventually._

_Jacob tugged on Renesmee's caramel-colored curls, teasing her. She looked away regretfully from the couple and into the face she so cherished. She held that shape, so intimate, in her mind where it burned._

_He yanked on her tiny hand; she followed him into the woods._

---

"Edward's coming," she tells them. "He'll be here soon; he left an hour ago. No one picked up the phone so he jumps a plane! There is no trust in this family," Bella kids, flashing a set of flawless teeth.

Carlisle sits upon the burgundy leather chair in the corner, sinking as its fabric gives way. "You know Edward, Bella. He's concerned. I think at this point we all need to be. I can't believe you would keep what Jacob did a secret."

Bella bows her head, ashamed. "I'm sorry. But you have to understand: Jake's my best friend. He always will be. And he's going through some hard times right now."

Emmett grunts, dissatisfied. "Bella, he tried to…I can't even say it." He sneaks a quick glance to his blonde wife, whose ethereal face is shadowed. She meets his gaze with wounded amber eyes. She's haunted by her own demons now.

Alice steps forward, clutching Jasper. "I can't see anything. I'm so scared. I've never been this blind!" She sways, and her fair-haired partner supports her with a tense expression.

"This is taking its toll on her. And if she can't see, we're helpless." Jasper whispers urgently, hugging his thin wife to him with his scarred arms.

"The wolves would never harm us!" Esme chides her son, dropping elegantly into Carlisle's lap.

Carlisle strokes her round cheek and answers, "No, but they might have to hurt Jacob. And he is a part of this family."

The burliest of them angrily smashes a vase. "Screw that!" Emmett cries. "Jake isn't Jake anymore! It's us or him now- and I choose us!"

"But would others second that notion, Em?" Carlisle replies sadly.

The discomfort in the room builds to a breaking point. "Jazz! A little help?" Bella pleads desperately, rubbing her smooth forehead with her hands.

Jasper, preoccupied with his frayed and frantic Alice, nods and floods the room with warmth and fills them with ease.

"We need to do something," Emmett says calmly, tugging Rosalie onto the bottom staircase step beside him.

Bella barely listens as they discuss useless options. Her panic is just out of her reach, but strong enough and close enough for her to taste it. She feels horribly alone, and wants Edward so badly she can hardly bear it. She needs him kissing her fears away, taking charge of the situation and solving their problems.

Her hands come forward automatically, habitually to touch Renesmee's hair. But where there should be a small daughter there is empty space.

"Why isn't Nessie back yet?" she blurts, disturbing the dialogue.

Six pairs of yellow eyes stare blankly at her.

Suddenly, the mansion is full of movement.

"Nessie!" Alice shouts up the stairs, four granite fingers on her temple. Jasper rushes past her, blurred with speed. "Ness!" he calls, checking each room.

"It's no use! She'd hear us- we'd _smell_ her!" Bella races onto the lawn and around the large house twice, becoming immediately soaked.

Dripping, water obscuring her vision, she chokes out, "The cottage!"

The Cullens sprint toward the fairy tale retreat, lofting themselves recklessly over the river. The sound of howling increases the closer they get.

Edward and Bella's home is empty, devoid of any recent raspberry scent.

The rain has washed her away.

Falling to her bare knees, muddying herself in despair, Bella yells with frustration into the storm.

"Bella, Jasper and I will go looking for her. You have to go back to the house." Alice demands firmly. She's wincing with the throbbing headache her lack of sight provides.

"No! I have to find my baby! What if…with his mindset, Jake is capable of anything!" Bella shakes her head, sodden strands of hair tearing through the air like knives.

"Bella, you have to go. If I allow anything happen to you, Edward will kill me. Jazz, go with her. And take Rosalie, she's falling to pieces."

Clutching her own curvy sides with a claw-like grip, Rose's eyes are golden orbs of fear. Her attachment to her niece is apparent.

Alice and Esme take off to the right. Carlisle and Emmett race the opposite direction.

"Come on, Bells," Jasper urges. She remains glued to the wet ground, agonizing. He throws her over his shoulder with stunning speed. Grabbing his other sister by the hand, he tugs them back the path they came.

---

Nessie is well aware by now the search is on for her.

But her search is almost finished. She can sense he is very close. After circling the river many times, even taking an unwise run down La Push beach, where his brothers nearly interfered, Jake had spun around and is now racing through the forest, one paw on the boundary line.

She knows that his caution is a sign.

If he was still fully beast, there would be no rationalization, nor any feel for self-survival. She had anticipated as much. She only hopes his change in behavior would not deter him from carrying out her goal.

Renesmee slides down the next hill, narrowly avoiding the trees sticking up from the earth like tall towers. As she bursts through the bushes at the bottom of her descent, a low growl freezes her movements.

She smiles sweetly, sadly, as a large paw drags her down into unconsciousness.

---

_That face. The face he could never hate for long. The face he gazed into for the first time some years ago, neatly signing over the power on himself with his action. _

_Porcelain, perfect...pitying. _

_It was too much for him in his ravaged, confused condition. The beast took hold again and secured her between his teeth, altering his direction._

_He knew the end was close._

---

Bella, Jasper, and Rosalie near the Cullen mansion, despair still etched into their flawless features. But as the wind and the rain turn toward them, each vampire stops dead in their tracks.

The door is no longer merely ajar- it's ripped from the hinges.

And the scent drifting along fills them with an unknown fear.

"Jacob!" Bella shouts, reaching the house before the others, "Stop! You don't realize what you're doing!"

Jacob, menacing and eerily familiar spits, "No. For the first time in a long while I do know what I'm doing."

Striking his own forehead in discomfort he says, "Don't you understand? If I kill her now, we can be together. These wasted years will mean nothing. It can just be you and me again, and this time you'll let me love you."

Bella, horrified, shakes her head in denial. "You're not well. Let me help you." She steps forward cautiously, restraining her siblings as she does so. "Just give me back my daughter."

And as he moves, there lies Nessie.

It is the scene from her daughter's dark dream, Bella realizes with dread.

Jasper and Rosalie fly across the room just as Jacob exchanges his human form for a far more dangerous one.

Their fight is momentary; wolves and family are on the way.

Jasper wraps his scarred arms around the werewolf's neck, his lips pulled back in an animalistic snarl. Rose goes for Nessie.

Jacob twists and rears, throwing Jasper off him. Jazz lunges forward again, raking his hands unexpectedly along Jake's stomach.

Esme's prized Venetian rug is drenched in red.

Bella barely notices how her child stubbornly resists Rosalie. Her golden eyes are firm upon the wounded wolf, and her senses are filled with his roar.

Jacob darts out and swipes at Jasper, clawing him, tearing his normally impenetrable skin with his mighty jaws.

For the first time in her existence as a vampire, Bella feels cold.

Rosalie pulls at Nessie, who in turn wraps her small arms about Jacob's legs. Distracted, he turns and snaps at her.

In defense, Rose jumps on his back and thrusts her white hands deep inside the flesh of his back.

Screaming, Jacob shakes her loose and pins her against the wall.

Just then, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Alice break through the window, scattering glass among the carnage. The wolves are not far behind them.

But Jacob swiftly releases Rose and takes Renesmee in his teeth.

It doesn't matter that he is more injured now than he ever has been in his life, his coat bathed with blood. It's of no consequence to him that his guts are dangling from his split belly, or that his spine is jutting out his back. It's only physical pain, and his agony comes from the heart.

He sees black spots, obscuring his vision, and his legs tremble. Yet he keeps the girl in his jaws.

They cannot help her for risk of hurting her.

Bella inhales needlessly and closes her eyes.

There is nothing left…he is gone, and she is gone, and her whole world has exploded into unfixable chaos. Her body is wracked with human-like tremors. It's over…

It's finished…

It's hopeless…

It's…

Edward.

Glowing golden and pristine in the doorway. His eyes are a blazing fire, his perfect teeth bared…

Jacob drinks in the sight of him with the part of his mind that remains intelligent, while slowly, unknowingly, dropping Nessie to the floor.

He is snowy white, entirely innocent. His flawless features are simply…incomparable.

He must know now: he's no longer the monster. Jacob is.

Jacob is…

He whines like a kicked puppy as a jolt of pain rocks his large body. His brain is ripping, torn to shreds with the serrated edges of the knives of his memory.

Edward's face softens, his noble brows crease, and his wonderful tawny eyes melt the iced-over caverns of the human Jake's heart. Edward's sorrow is stranger than his sympathy.

It is so hard not to blame him. He is the source of anger brewing beneath Jake's skin all this time. But now…

He questions his identity. Does the beast still lurk in the shadows of his soul? No, Edward has absolved him of sins, washed him clean with forgiveness.

The vampire smiles.

Weakly, Jake gives his wolf form up for an easier, final body.

He turns his gaze to Bella.

Her golden eyes are wide and bewildered. Her full ruby lips are tremulous. She clutches her daughter and strokes her bronze hair.

Renesmee is crying. She struggles against her mother's grip, her small arms outstretched to him.

He offers a tiny smile to them both.

He needs them like he needs air to breathe.

The rain stops pelting the roof, and the sun shudders into the sky. Each marble-skinned being sparkles. Only one truly dazzles him.

His past ghosts screech.

"_I used to think of you that way, you know. My own personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely."_

Jacob's pain is distant now. He looks to Edward.

This is who she wants. This is who she chose. And Jacob understands.

"Thank you," he whispers to him.

Bella's shape, so dear to him, fills his head. Long and thin, with silken hair down her back. And her eyes…now Renesmee's eyes, are chocolate brown and blameless. It's dizzying.

His phantoms fall silent.

A beast can't feel what a human can. It can never feel the love Jacob enjoys as his spirit passes from his ravaged body and travels…beyond.

He doesn't have to run anymore. Finally, he can fly.

And she will never leave him.

THE END

**Whew. Sorry for the ridiculously long first and last chapters, as well as the heavy angst and long period between updates. I want to thank everyone who reviewed or added me to their various fav/alert lists. I really appreciate anyone who took the time to read my first, semi-decent fanfic. I'm moving on to bigger and better stuff soon. I've got some great ideas, and I hope you'll watch out for new fics from me in the future. Please continue to review, so I may continue to dance.**

**Playlist for: **Phantoms and Beasts

**Kelly Clarkson, Green Day, 3OH!3, Aly and AJ, The All-American Rejects, and the Twilight Soundtrack.**

**Author's Recommendations:**

'If You Twist and Turn Away' by blueandblack

'Then Direct You Into My Arms' by blueandblack

'Dawning Sun' by Pink Paramore

'Breaking Day' by Pink Paramore

'Dawning Sun' by omigiluffbleachvampires

'Hands on Me' by IndependenceIndividuality

**Also, please check out the Indie TwiFic Awards website if you want quality fics. Voting closed as of Monday, August 3rd, and though not all of my favorites won (actually, not any of them), they are still listed elsewhere as nominees. And of course, the winners have been determined as 'the best'- so I'm sure they're great reads as well.**

**Thanks for everything!**


End file.
